Perchance to Dean



Hank: (About his dad’s car) I don’t think I should take it off the compound.
Dermott: You didn’t think I should have hot wired it either!
Hank: That’s because I had the keys!

Hank: How come Baby Einstein gets his own lab and I’m stuck pushing boxes around? When do I get to train for my future career?
Dr. Venture: Who says you aren’t right now?

Dr. Venture: Hank, just because he’s black doesn’t mean he has The Shining.

Dr. Venture: The Egg. It is the symbol of creation and since your age it has hatched all of my super science ideas!

Dr. Venture: (upon finding Dean passed out) Dean! Noooo! (picks up the headphones) Oh, my God, it’s side two of Dark Side of the Moon! He’s in a Floyd hole! Fill the tub up with ice, now!

Dermott: All right, we’re going to have to do this commando style.
Hank: You want me to… take off my underwear?

Dermott: Why do you think they used to call me “The Wolf?”
Hank: Nobody calls you that.
Dermott: Well, they did back in my old neighborhood. When they weren’t calling me “Psycho.” There was actually a war between two gangs over which nickname to call me. Both gangs won!

Dermott: You think being grounded is bad? Try prison. That’s like being grounded for life. And instead of chores… butt sex!

Sgt. Hatred: I don’t wanna tell ya how to do your daddy duty or nothing, but don’tcha think maybe you’re being just a little hard on the old Hankinator?
Dr. Venture: Hankinator? You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?!

Sgt. Hatred: It’s a fresh new twist on a classic decoy tactic. We place ’em in key locations around the compound, and the next time your Monarch or your Baron Whats-His-Bheit comes a-knockin’, he gets spanked in the face with five feet seven inches of screamin’ hot stop it!
Dr. Venture: I’m five ten.
Sgt. Hatred: Yeah, maybe with them fancy elevator Beetle boots of yours.

Dean: I have been practicing my career in science, look at these
Dr. Venture: Shrinky Dinks don’t count, Dean, I’m not even gonna ask why you sleep with those things
Dean: Because I can’t find Mr. Ricci.

Dean: You’re the…
Dr. Venture: Dean, we need to talk.
Dean: There is no Hair Fairy, is there?
Dr. Venture: Not even close.