The Incredible Mr. Brisby



The Venture family steps into the middle of a suburban conflict when amusement park millionaire Roy Brisby presents Dr. Venture with a business proposal.

Hank: What are you, on the rag?
Dr. Venture: (exasperated) It’s impossible for me to be on the rag, I’m a … I can’t believe I’m even arguing about this with you! What men’s room did you pick up that kind of trash talk in? (the boys point at Brock, who shrugs)

Hank: Dude, look! Elephants!
Dean: That’s… (rummages through box of wildlife cards) “Loxodonta africana.” You can tell which ones are the males because they’re the only ones with tusks.
Hank: I got no problem tellin’ which one’s the male, bro. Check out the fifth leg on that beast!
Dean: It’s called a “trunk.”
Hank: It’s called “you’re a spaz”, and that ain’t what I’m talkin’ about.

Brisby: Welcome, Dr. Venture… to the funnest place on Earth! (he turns toward Venture, revealing his partially paralyzed face)
Dr. Venture: (horrified) Holy dammit Christmas!
Brisby: Does my appearance startle you, Dr. Venture?
Dr. Venture: (struggling to regain his composure) No, not at all. I — as a man of science, I see all… kinds of things.

Brisby: Now that we’ve exchanged pleasantries and hot panda milk, Dr. Venture, let’s talk business. I want you to clone me.
Dr. Venture: (caught off-guard) Cloning? (unconvincingly) I… wouldn’t know anything about that, seeing as Congress has banned all cloning research in North America.

Dr. Venture: I- that’s it! The deal is off! I don’t care if you are rich, I don’t have to take this crap from a gimp!

Dean: I spy a… um… (shuffling through cards) huh. I don’t have a card for that one.
Hank: If you don’t knock it off with the wildlife cards already, you’re going to be spying my foot up your wow-hole, Dean. Seriously.

Dr. Venture: Brock? Thank God! His freakin’ panda’s trained to put me in a bag!

Dr. Venture: (resentfully) Your panda broke my glasses.
Brisby: We’ll replace them at once. We have many glasses here. We have everything you need.
Dr. Venture: Where the hell is “here?”
Brisby: Your home for the time being. (dramatically) Welcome, Dr. Venture… to the Brisby-dome!
Venture: This is that ridiculous giant beehive next door to your study, isn’t it? You knocked me out and put me in a bag to bring me fifty yards?!?

Dr. Venture: Ooohh! Ah ha ha, now I see. You know, it took me a minute, but I just got it.
Brisby: Got it? So you’ll come aboard?
Dr. Venture: Oh, no no no. What I just got is that you’re like a total jacked up freaky-deaky crazy pants!

Molotov Cocktease: You KILLED my FATHER!
Brock Samson: After you killed my partner.
Molotov: You took my EYE!
Brock: After you took…my heart.
(They pause, awkwardly, and kiss)

Molotov: NYET! You know I can only go to second base!
Brock: Still?! Urrrgh! I thought the cold war was OVER!
Molotov: It’s always cold in Siberia.
Brock: (Lighting two cigarettes, then smoking both at the same time) You want one of these? (Throws Molotov the pack, she lights one and smokes sexily)
Brock: GARRRRRRR! (Stabs his knife into the mattress and stands up with a giant erection) I gotta go take care of something.

Henchmen 1: Hey! Your bag has snaps. Mine has velcro. Look at this!
Henchmen 2: Yeah. You got one of the new ones. I got mine back in ’97…
(Brock Samson jumps fence using make shift pole vault)

(Intimidated by Brock Samson)
Mandalay: Yo, I just work here man. I don’t even need this job no more.

Brock: You don’t want to shoot me, boys. You know me. You know what I’ll do to you if you do.