The Terrible Secret of Turtle Bay



The Venture family travels to New York City, where Dr. Venture is presenting his newest invention to the United Nations. Meanwhile, they are pursued by The Monarch and a mysterious ninja named Otaku Senzuri.

(After getting hit with acupuncture darts meant to kill him)
Senzuri Henchmen: Wow! Thanks! You totally got the kink out of it! And hey! I don’t want to smoke anymore either!

Dean: Good thinking, bro of mine. And I thought I was supposed to be the smart one.
Hank: Ma Venture didn’t raise no fools!
Dean: W-we don’t have a mom, Hank.
(long, awkward pause)
Dean: Last one to the hanger’s a rotten banana!
Hank: You’re a rotten banana!

Dr. Venture: Brock! Come in Brock!
Brock: Yeah?
Dr. Venture: Brock come to the lab at once! I just made an incredible discovery! Remember those prehistoric bones we found at the Moroccan site? Well, it turns out that your hunch is correct. They aren’t dinosaur bones as we thought after all! They’re robot bones!
Brock: Yeah. Well. I’m kinda busy here. I have to load up all your science crap onto the X-1.

Dr. Venture: Haank! You like pretty girls don’t you?
Hank & Dean: And How!
Dr. Venture: Well Pretty girls need cosmetics. How do you think they get so pretty?
(Hank and Dean shrug)
Dr. Venture: So, the next time you see an attractive young lady and you’re sure to see plenty in New York City; You just think about Scamp over there and all he’s done for pretty girl science.

(Dr. Venture and the boys run into the hanger. Brock is wrestling with a mummy.)
Brock: Stay back! Another one of those mummies got stuck in our landing gear.
Mummy: Who dares to desecrate the sacred tomb of- oof!
(Brock kicks the mummy in the groin and then proceeds to beat him as the mummy protests.)
Mummy: Ow! Hey, hey! Wait a minute. (Brock breaks the mummys arm.) There’s no reason to – aarghhh! (Brock delivers a karate chop to the throat.) Oof! Ow, oh, hey!
Hank: Holy toledo, he curbed on him!
Dean: Way to give him a little chin music Brock!
Dr. Venture: Well that ought to take care of tha-
Dean: Look, Brock still ain’t done with him!
(Brock unzips his pants and proceeds to urinate on the mummy.)
Hank: That’s showing him who’s boss, Brock-O!
Dr. Venture: Was that really necessary?
Brock: You have to defile a mummy completely or they’ll come back to life. You know that.

The Monarch: Dr. Venture’s legendary scientific curiosity will naturally get the better of him. And when he immediately drills open the cosmic mystery, he’ll get a face full of men! My men!! Loyal foot soldiers of my war on everything and deadly! Just like the monarch butterfly of my namesake.
Henchman: What? Butterflies aren’t deadly.

(Inside “Modern Trojan Hoarse” Meteor)
Henchmen 1: I can’t get the hatch open! We landed face down!
Henchmen 2: Oh, God! Oh, God! We are going to die in here!
Henchmen 3: Oh, man! Were not going to have to eat each other, are we?
(desperatly trying to open the hatch)
Henchmen 1: Screw that! What are we going to do about poo poos?!

Dr. Venture: Oh, gentlemen, be careful not to get too close to the X-1’s engines… CANCER!

Brock: Probably stowed away when we were back in Brazil last week… big one too!
UN Guard: Halt Sir! You can not enter the United Nations with that weapon.
Dr. Venture: It’s OK soldier… Mister Samson is my bodyguard.
UN Guard: Just the same Doctor, no weapons allowed. I’m going to have to confiscate it.
Brock: (growls furiously) Go ahead. (gives a horrible grin) Take it from me.
(Guard looks back to other guard, who shakes his head in absolute fear)

Hank & Dean A Ninja!
Hank: Quick Dean! Deploy the J-U-D-O! (wink)

Cabbie: That’ll be $53.50
The Monarch: $53.50?! Arh!
Cabbie: What is this supposed to be?
The Monarch: An IOU for your LIFE! (shoots cab driver with dart)
The Monarch: You see, just like the flawless monarch butterfly from which I take my name, The Monarch has many ways to sting.
Cabbie: (weakly) Monarchs… don’t sting…

Prostitute: Okay big fella, you first. I charge you ten bucks for the gilded lily, twenty for the Roman holiday, fifty for the old Walrus ‘n’ Carpenter,and for seventy-five you can sleigh ride down Kilimanjaro.

(Senzuri has just been discovered next to the Ooh ray)
General Manhowers: He wasn’t trying to steal it, he was masturbating like a teenager with a fast internet connection.
Hank: (puzzled) Mastur… what?
Dean: (equally puzzled) Like an evil master plan?