Now Museum, Now You Don’t



(Action Man flies in, guns blazing)
Action Man: Actiooooon!
(He violently guns down several henchmen.)
Action Man: Action! Action! Action!
Col. Gentleman: Rodney, what the hell are you doing?
Action Man: What!? I’m winning the day!
Col. Gentleman: Well take it down a notch! I mean, Ook-Ook’s a mindless savage. And even he knows when to pull his punches!

(The Pirate Captain walks in on Sally Impossible while she’s getting out of the shower. They both scream, and Sally’s skin turns invisible, revealing her musculature. The Pirate Captain screams and runs out.)
Pirate Captain: Oh, man. This is all kinds of uncomfortable. On, like, a couple of levels!

(Ned jumps into the rear seat of Professor Impossible’s aircraft)
Ned: Ya! Super-car go! Go car!

Action Man: I can’t believe you slept with…Killermanjaro! I had no idea he…
Col. Gentleman: Neither did he, ’til the day he tried to ambush me in the middle of a threesome with Gore Vidal and Wally Schirra.

Brainulo: (telepathically) You fantasize about conquering… the mother from Growing Pains?!
Pete White: Oh, yeah, that episode where they showed her in the bathtub?

Dr. Venture: This is gonna be one of those things, isn’t it?
Brock: Uh-huh.
Dr. Venture: I mean, you get a bunch of short-fused, costumed idiots together in one room like this, and what do you think’s gonna happen? Any minute now, stuff’s gonna start blowing up, guys’ll be throwing each other at other guys.
Brock: Yeah, probably.
Dr. Venture: You know, when you’re not the one in the middle of it all for once, it’s actually totally, completely obvious.
Brock: Welcome to my life.