I Know Why the Caged Bird Kills



The Monarch continues to rebuild his villainous empire with the aid of his shadowy new Number 2, Dr. Henry Killinger, but #21 is suspicious of the deadly foreigner’s unctuous charms. Meanwhile, as Dr. Orpheus attempts to exorcise a Japanese demon from Dr. Venture, a mysterious woman from Doc’s past resurfaces…and she’d kill to find out where Hank and Dean are.

Dr. Killinger: What you need is a second-in-command who understands the intricacies of organized villiany. This I can offer you.
The Monarch: Perfect! You’re hired, number…
Dr. Killinger: Number Killinger. Doctor Henry Killinger. And this is my Magic Murder Bag.

#24: Oh, that’s right! Come on in! Don’t knock or anything. After all, I only live in a cocoon with 80 guys and no women. So there’s NO chance I’d be masturbating…

[H.E.L.P.E.R. beeps a comment while “When the Levee Breaks” is playing.]
Brock: Jock rock my ass! Listen to those lyrics, man. That song’s about love, and longing.
[H.E.L.P.E.R. responds.]
Brock: Yes…. and hobbits. Look, it’s a metaphor! They wrote about a lot of other stuff! Ahh, why am I arguing with a robot?

Myra Brandish: [Dives across the room, grabs a shotgun] Hush-a-bye!

[Hank awakens tied up on a dirty old mattress inside an abandoned motel room.]
Hank Venture: Well isn’t this new and different!

Dr. Venture: Wait a minute… you’re trying to get me into the sack, aren’t you?!
Dr. Orpheus: (genuinely taken aback) I beg your pardon?!
Dr. Venture: Always tagging along, wearing the tights, the jewelry… ‘Let me get my big gay cloak and I’ll join you!’
Dr. Orpheus: I’m trying to help you!!
Dr. Venture: Help me out of my Speed Suit!!

Dr. Orpheus: Master! Master, are you here? I have need of your counsel.
The Master: Oh, Orpheus, you’re going to love this, check me out.. I’m Catherine the Great’s horse. It’s to teach you a lesson about biting off more then you can chew! My partially-lovely assistant, Miss Manyface, will be playing the part of Catherine.
Miss Manyface: Hi.
The Master: Enough with the chatter. Get under there…Don’t wince!
Dr. Orpheus: Master, far be it from me to question your symbolism, but I’m pretty sure the whole “horse” thing was an urban legend…

Dr. Venture: Listen, sorry about earlier…I don’t know what came over me, and besides, this ‘Giant Floating Head’ thing.
Dr. Orpheus: Apology accepted. Just…stay on your side of the bed! [Trying to Joke] Tiger!
[An Awkward Silence]
Dr. Orpheus:…Yes.
[Another Awkward Silence]
Dr. Venture: Wanna go halfsies on a skin flick?
Dr. Orpheus: ‘Kay.

#21: You can silence me but there will be others. Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus!
Dr. Killinger: It’s Sic Semper Tyrannis. You said, “Ever faithful terrible lizard.”
#21: I did? Cool.

Dr. Girlfriend: Well, I hope you’re as good at fighting as you are at talking.
#21: Hell no, look at me! You’re the weapons expert. [Watches her defeat the Black Guard effortlessly.]

[Dr. Orpheus is trying to check out of a motel in his usual attire, and meets the catsuited owner, Myra Blandish]
Dr. Orpheus: Isn’t it a bit early for a costume party?
Myra Blandish: Why, are you throwing one, Dracula?

Dr. Killinger: (to the Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend) Love is not private. Love is to be shared. I’ve locked you in. Neither of you may leave until you have reached compromise. Good luck, and may love show you the way. [opens his umbrella and begins to ascend toward the ceiling] Say goodbye to all your pretty children for me.
Dr. Girlfriend: Do you understand what he’s saying?
The Monarch: Like… half the time.
Dr. Killinger: (out of frame) My umbrella is stuck on something. I require assistance.

Dr. Killinger: Compromise, my friend, is the essence of diplomacy, and diplomacy is the cornerstone of love. [Singin] Sweeeeeet looooove.