Love-Bheits



The Ventures crash land in Ünderland. Baron Ünderbheit captures them, obsessed with taking revenge on Dr. Venture, but mistakes Dean for a woman. Brock, Hank, and Dr. Venture are meanwhile rescued by Catclops and Girl Hitler’s underground resistance group.

Dr. Venture: Yes, yes, you’re “The Bat!” And the Bat is the reason we didn’t win best costume, mister, again! Last year it was Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion and “The Bat!”

Baron Ünderbheit: Ooh, my sweet little Rusty, how many years have I longed for this moment? How many years has it been since… COLLEGE!?!

Baron Ünderbheit: Say hello to goodbye, Dr. Venture!

{The X-1 is going down)
Hank Venture: (in the fetal position)I’m the bat I’m the bat I’m the bat I’m the bat…

(The X-1 is crash landing)
Dean Venture: Everybody into the black box! It’s indestructible!

(after the X-1 crashes)
Dr. Venture: Yeah, pretty sure my scoliosis is going the other way now.
Hank: My butt won’t stop making a fist!
Dean: At least you have one.
Dr. Venture: You’re blessed with your father’s ass, Dean. Learn to love stadium cushions.

(Brock Samson has just handed Doctor Venture a tooth containing arsenic)
Brock: Don’t take all of it.
Doctor Venture: Or else what? I’ll overdose on poison?

(Hank scouts around the corner and sees several Underland Guardsman. He silently gives Brock a complex series of commando-style code gestures)
Brock: (amused) You have no idea what that means, do you? You’re just having fun with your hands, aren’t you?

(Team Venture has been brought to Baron Ünderbheit’s laboratory under guard)
Baron Ünderbheit: What are they doing here? Put them in the holding cells while I decide how they are to die!
Manservant: We don’t… we don’t have holding cells, Your Thoughfulness.
Baron Ünderbheit: No holding…! Fine. Put them in… the pantry.

(Dean already knows that Baron Ünderbheit has sent them to a holding cell)
Dean Venture: What have you done with Pop?!?
Baron Ünderbheit: Your father is resting comfortably in a makeshift holding cell, soon–
Dean Venture: What have you done with my brother?!?
Baron Ünderbheit: He, too, is being held in the–
Dean Venture: What have you done with our secret agent bodyguard?!?
Baron Ünderbheit: (frustrated) They’re all in the same place, okay?!?

Doctor Venture: Brock, you speak crazy, do something about him.

[A eunuch is preparing to give Dean, believed to be a girl, a bath]
Eunuch: Please, I’m a eunuch. You think the Baron would allow another set of balls near his wife? And don’t worry, honey, even when I had ’em, you’ve got nothing I’m interested in. [Pulls down Dean’s Princess Leia loincloth] ROOSTER IN THE HEN HOUSE!!
[Dean and the eunuch both scream in very high-pitched voices]
Eunuch: I’m fixed, what’s your excuse?

Brock: Hank, no! It’s suicide!
Hank: Well then I’ll see you in Heck! (runs screaming down hall)

Dean: I’m not a woman! I’m a boy science adventurer, like my father before me! (drops robes)

Dr. Venture: (sarcastically) Thank goodness, Hank’s going to save us all. (glances at Brock) Oh, what are you so worried about? I can make another one. Hey, maybe he’ll surprise us! He does get that kind of retard strength when he’s all worked up.

Catclops: You mess with the cat, you get the clops!
Girl Hitler: Yeah, und you mess with the girl, you get the Hitler!
Catclops: Marry me.

Baron Ünderbheit: Catclops? So you survived? Wait a minute, the cat hairs in my water! (lunges at Catclops) OF COURSE!!

Baron Ünderbheit: Is that what you think? Oh that is rich, I will have to tell Manservant that one. And he will have to laugh.

Dean: Wow, a girl president! How progressive!
Hank: And a Hitler! Boy, things are really looking up!

Hank: (To Dean, while lying on the floor, bleeding) I cut my tongue on my mask.