Showdown at Cremation Creek (Part II)



As Phantom Limb makes his stunning power play, only Brock can rally The Monarch’s forces to mount a defense. The fate of almost everyone in the Venture universe hangs in the balance as The Sovereign reveals his true identity and guys and stuff explode all over the place.

Henry Killinger: I wish you both very much luck in your life together…what’s left of it.

Phantom Limb: Monarch! What say you?
Monarch: I say what kind of Loser can’t get the hint that he’s been dumped?
Phantom Limb: So it’s okay for you to kidnap her, but when I do it I’m a Loser!

(The Cocoon is being attacked)
Brock: Hank!
Hank: I’m cool!
Brock: Okay. Try not to die! Go find your brother, we’re leaving.

(Dr. Girlfriend is being taken to Phantom Limb by Klaus Nomi and Iggy Pop)
Dr. Girlfriend: (To Klaus) What are you… supposed to be from The Future, or something? (To Iggy) And YOU! Put a SHIRT on, for God’s sake! [To Phantom Limb] Where do you get off siccing your two stooges on me?!
Klaus Nomi: I wasn’t in The Stooges

(As the Guild choppers begin the attack on the Cocoon)
Cocoon Navigator: Engines online!
The Monarch: BOOK!!!!

(The Cocoon is escaping Phantom Limb’s Forces)
Doctor Venture: So…it’s a cocoon…that flies…
The Monarch: Obviously!
Doctor Venture: I just realized…that makes no sense.
The Monarch: Duh! Monarch! Butterfly, butterfly cocoon, it’s a theme thing!
Doctor Venture: Yeah, I get it, but why didn’t you just make it shaped like a butterfly?
The Monarch: (The Monarch leans over and looks at Doctor Venture) Because that’s gay?

[A Sullustan summoned by the Order of the Triad is flying them to the Monarch’s cocoon in the X-1]
Alchemist: I can’t help you not save the Ventures from the kiddy seat. Why does creepo get to drive?
Dr. Orpheus: [working with his seatbelt] I’m not the one who summoned him from a trading card.
Alchemist: Point of order: I wanted to kill him. Because I bet he’s abomination or something. And isn’t there some sort of code about that or something?
Dr. Orpheus: Unless he is made from dead people, it’s still technically murder. Nice try. Got it! It was all crammed into the cushion.
Jefferson Twilight: [waking up] What if he gets hit by a car and he’s half-dead? I had this dog once that never…
[The Sullustan launches the ship]
Dr. Orpheus: I hope he knows where we’re going.
Alchemist: I hope he couldn’t understand what I said about him.

(During the battle, a mortally wounded henchman crashes into Brock’s arms)
Dying Henchman: I’m… sorry. I let… you down. But th-these past five minutes under your command… have been the proudest… in my… caree… (He goes limp)
(Brock, totally unmoved, callously pitches the corpse into the turbine of a nearby Guild chopper. The turbine seizes in a gush of blood and the chopper plummets downward)

[Iggy Pop is sent outside the Helicarrier to Smoke]
Iggy Pop: Dang… frickin’ cold, man…
[The Cigarette he pulls out bears the face of his former Master, David Bowie]
David Bowie-Cigarette: Hullo. I’m David Bowie.
[David shapeshifts back into his old body and clobbers Iggy with a right hook]
David Bowie: Make way for the Homo Superior!

(Dean, in a hallucination, frees child orphan laborers and begins destroying the engine they were powering)
Dean: Run, orphans! Be free! And have your own room! And maybe not have to live in fear of costumed guys trying to kill you all the time! And there are no yetis freaking out on you or, like, putting you on a rocketship! Run to a place where your father won’t make you get in a fight with a venus flytrap that walks and, with a gun!

(The Monarch’s joystick stops working)
The Monarch: What’s going on? I’ve got no go here!
Cocoon Navigator: Um, here’s something. We just lost power…like, uh, all of it.
The Monarch: Where’d it go?
Cocoon Navigator: Oh, oh, I don’t know…uh, somewhere? Uh…it’s not in the engine.
The Monarch: What?!? Someone get down to engine room and find out what the hell happened!
Cocoon Navigator: Oh no, no way…that place is spooky.
Doctor Venture: You…pay these people?
The Monarch: (quietly) Uhhhh, you wanna…see my escape cocoon?

Dr. Girlfriend: I’m fine! I was pinned under… I think it’s Phantom Limb’s leg…
The Monarch: Give it here! I want to kick his smug, limey face in with it.. (Monarch notices David Bowie moving into earshot as he said “limey”) ….oh…..

David Bowie: Well, gotta run, luv! (kisses Doctor Girlfriend) Villainous coup to squash; Strangers to execute; you know how it is! Congratulations to you both! (shape changes into an eagle) Ta!

(David Bowie transforms into an eagle and flies away.)
Brock: Doc, you’re OK.
Doctor Venture: I swallowed a gold filling during the crash, so we have to hook up the metal detector to the toilet again. What did we miss?
Hank: The guy from Labyrinth turned into a bird!

#21: So The Sovereign recorded Station to Station?!
#24: And ChangesOne? I love that album!
#21: Could you be any more of a poseur? ChangesOne was a “best of”!

Insect King: No! not the ring of power! It’s the only thing that can steal my black heart.
Dean Venture: Eat it!
[Dean begins randomly stabbing the Insect King]
Insect King: Ow-eeee that fucking hurts! Ow! right down to the thorax, Dick! But it missed my Black heart.
Dean Venture: Die!
[Dean severes the Insect King’s arm and leg]
Insect King: Ow, dude stop already, you’re not even aiming for my black heart!
Dean Venture: I vanquish you!
Insect King: Aaahh and those are reproductive organs! Will you take the fucking hint and stab me in the heart already?!
Dean Venture: I got it! Your evil black heart is where your power comes from!
Insect King (feigning chagrin): Oh no, you have learned my terrible secret!

Monarch Henchman: Come on! Come on! I wanna go with you guys!
The Monarch: Fuck off! It only seats Two! Two!

(Interior The Monarch escape pod)
The Monarch: Wooo, you’re insatiable, woman. Now that’s one myth about married life we can scratch off the list, huh?
Dr. Girlfriend: Ya…You…know I nev..I never actually said I do.
The Monarch: Well you never said you don’t.
Dr. Girlfriend: Well there’s something else I haven’t said, It, uh, it might change things.
The Monarch: Is it Let’s go again? ‘Cause I’m gonna need a few…
Dr. Girlfriend: No, okay…deep breath, Sheila, you’ve been rehearsing this…
(Dr. Girlfriend takes a deep breath)
Dr. Girlfriend: Monarch, I’m….
(Cut to exterior of Monarch’s escape pod)
The Monarch: (angrily) WHAT!?