10 Best Brock Beatdowns

Brock Samson lives hard. He loves kicking the crap out of people, having sex, and Led Zeppelin. Because of international copyright laws, we can only show you the first two. Check out 10 of Mr. Samson’s finest moments.

10. Brock Vs. Guild Assassin
If we were dying and we had one last Technotronic song to go out on, the only real choice would be “Get Up! (Before This Night Is Over).”


9. Brock Vs. A Crocodile
Does Brock just aim to get covered in blood? Because it doesn’t really seem like there would be enough blood in a crocodile to do that by accident.


8. Brock Vs. Speedy
There comes a time when you can take a villain theme too far. That time: Butterfly shaped darts.


7. Brock Vs. The Monarch’s Henchmen
Thank God that Brock has a beaded seat back for his car. Imagine the kind of stress case he’d be without one.


6. Brock Vs. Phantom Spaceman
In this clip, even Hank seems to realize that Brock’s penis is, in fact, a weapon.


5. Brock Vs. Underbheit’s Henchmen
How was your day, honey? Not great. Brock used the dead bodies of my coworkers to knock me over. That was humiliating. Oh, and I have testicular cancer.


4. Ass Fighting
There are a lot of side benefits to having the strength to break a man’s hand with only your sphincter, but the top one has got to be zero hemorrhoids.


3. Strip Poker
Brock not only protects Dr. Venture and looks out for the boys, but he apparently also has time to lay out in the sun, judging from his tan lines when his tighty whiteys hit the floor.


2, Bathroom Rescue
As exciting as all of this is, we have to imagine that anyone in the restaurant treated to the sight of a super-villain, his henchmen, a man with invisible limbs and a naked, blood-drenched, knife-wielding dude all leaving the bathroom simultaneously would seriously be reconsidering their choice in dining establishment.


1. Brock Vs. Molotov Cocktease
Molotov is not going to get the safety deposit back on that room.