Brock: We had to make sacrifices.
Dr. Venture: Like covering yourselves in rotten eggs. Do you know how bad you smell?
Brock: No, ass! Like living next to the boys for a year and not being able to tell them that they’re safe. That kinda sacrifice!
Hunter: I had my pud removed, then reattached.
ShoreLeave: I pretended I became a religious fanatic.
Sky Pilot: I pretended to be in love with ShoreLeave.
ShoreLeave: Oh! And I pretended I liked having sex with him every night.
Dr. Girlfriend: Monstroso! That’s what this is about? He’s king of the double cross. I mean, think about it. He’s a lawyer and a super villain. That’s like a shark with a grenade launcher on his head.
The Monarch: Sweet! So let’s go with my plan to cover his compound in sticky hot sugar! Leaving him and his family to be devoured by ants! And those little ones…
Henchman 21: You mean gnats?
The Monarch: No.
Henchman 21: Chiggers?
The Monarch: Chiggers!
Monstroso: No, that plan was stupid. My plan is clean, elegant, classic. We take him down as one would take down a Mafia don. Cigar?
The Monarch: No! So then we’re going with my plan to just put him in a bag and beat him with a rake?
Monstroso: No, that was also stupid.
Brock: Uh, geez, this place reeks. What’s this guy doing in there?
ShoreLeave: The guy is Peter Schumpmaker. Lord knows what a schump is, but you can bet your bippy his ancestors made them. What he’s doing is far worse than crafting fine shumps.
Henchman 21: Do we have souls?
Henchman 24: Yes, but they’re not quite souls, but in Earth’s general idea, everything has a soul.
Henchman 21: Crap, so I guess we should become vegetarian.
Henchman 24: No, like everything living has a soul, even spinach. You can’t win.
Henchman 21: So that’s a problem.
Henchman 24: Here’s something. You know how people cry about aborting babies because of their soul? Turns out you don’t get a soul until you’re like one.
Henchman 21: So, weird, one. Really?
Henchman 24: Or maybe six months. I forget. Either way, you’re just this little crying, pooing monster blob until you get your soul.
Henchmen 24: Ask me any question.
Henchmen 21: Okay, what’s the meaning of life?
Henchmen 24: The color twelve.
Henchmen 21: Really?
Henchmen 24: No, idiot, ask me something less Hitchhiker’s Guide, dork.