Studies show that children of alcoholics are four times more likely than other children to become alcoholics. In addition, children of super scientists are four to five times more likely than other children to become dead. And one hundred to four hundred times more likely to have backup clones of themselves preserved in liquid.
10. Dr. Venture Has the Talk With Dean
They’ve actually stopped using the “GI Joe Banging a Clown” demonstration in the public schools. But that’s why home schooling is so important.
9. Hank’s Big Change
There is no Mary Lou Retton in this dojo.
You should approach a mummy with caution the first time you go in to pet it.
7. Your Best Outfit
We didn’t have to start shaving our forehead until we hit 30. Getting old really blows, kids.
6. Hank’s Phantom Limb Origin
Testicular surgery is really more of a third date conversation.
5. Killing Angels
We were unaware that we’d been killing baby angels all this time. But now that we know, we’ve got to catch up on a lot of teardrop tattooing.
4. Sleeping Bags
We wish we inhabited the sweet, innocuous place Dean calls the world, a place where cops carry sleeping bags, and Dervishes never die.
3. Like Them Like Them
CSI is educating a whole generation of psychos about how to better express their psychosis.
2. Boys In The Bathroom
It isn’t often we wish we had Hank’s disposition, but seeing him hump a hand dryer without any reservations has us reevaluating why we act so cool.
1. The Boys Never Died
And many questions were answered at once: Were Hank and Dean really dead? Why did their personalities and bodies seem hopelessly stuck in time? Did Brock ever sport a mustache? Etc.